A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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