Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
