does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I understand Curling. That high.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I am mentally ready for anal.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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