I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
