Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
