My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
