dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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