Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
as a side note pls kill me
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
