is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
