Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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