Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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