Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
