It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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