Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
