Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
