Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
