TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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