i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
