She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
