...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
