i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
