im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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