Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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