I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
