HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
