If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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