new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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