i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
