I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
