My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
this must be what syphilis tastes like
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
