I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
