remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
