Christians are straight up FREAKS
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
These tits shall not be calmed
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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