Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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