it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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