I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
