i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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