Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
This is my gift to your gina
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
