There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
