I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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