I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
