i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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