bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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