walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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