I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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