Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
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I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
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did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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