Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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