dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
