I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize