He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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