this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
