i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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