I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
