Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize