eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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