did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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