I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
