As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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