And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
