my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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