Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
