yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
